The word nerd is buried under the stereotype of an anti-social, know-it-all person who is more into sci-fi than sports, but the truth is we’re all secretly nerds. We all have that one topic that gets us passionate, way too interested, and downright nerdy but some are just better at hiding it. So here are some tips for the day that you inevitably find out that your partner is a total nerd.
Respect Their Interests
We can’t all be interested in the same things, so it’s incredibly important to (no matter what your opinion actually is) be respectful towards the ‘nerd’ when they tell you about their passion. Try to be as genuinely excited for them as possible. This isn’t as bad as it seems. When they bring their interests up, listen with care. It not only helps them open up but also clues you in on what they might like for Christmas and Birthday presents. If they like comics, for example, you’ll know their favorite heroes and can get them the merchandise of those heroes. If it’s really boring, try to find common ground. Find similarities between your interest and theirs, that way you are both involved in the conversation.
Truly nerdy people tend to be shut-ins. They rarely speak to others unless it’s necessary or it involves their interests. This means that certain unspoken rules may go completely unnoticed by them. Keep in mind that they’re coming out of their shell and won’t know that some things might be rude. If they tend to interrupt or correct others, especially because of their expansive knowledge of subjects that may come up in conversation, simply tell them that it isn’t right to do so. Try not to be condescending. They know a lot, but there are still things they find unfamiliar. Don’t take their excited speeches about their passions as lectures or boring stories. Interact with them as much as possible during their speeches so they feel accepted, but also as a way to lead by example on how to hold an interesting conversation.
Don’t Fake It
Always be honest with them about how much you know. We all dislike ‘imposters’. These are people who pretend to know everything. So, don’t ever try to convince the ‘nerd’ that you know more about their interests than you really do. They’ll spot from a mile away that you’re lying – remember, they know everything there is to know. One slip up and you’ll be labeled as a ‘fake nerd’. It may be tempting to lie on first dates or on group outings with their friends, but just don’t do it. They’ll be more excited to teach you all about it if you don’t know anything. Instead of faking knowledge, get real knowledge by asking them questions about their interests. Soon enough, you will know enough to fit in and get their inside jokes.
Show Them Your Nerdiness Too
Once you’ve been respectful, patient, and shown genuine interest in their passions, it’s likely they’ll want to know about yours. This is the time to shine. They’ll understand better than anybody that interests are more than just phases. In fact, they’ll feel better that they’re not the ‘weird’ one in the relationship. Tell them all about your passions and don’t hold back. After all, it will make you both two nerdy peas in a pod.